Seriously, some of them just like to give students hell just because they can. They’re such fascists. I hate their guts. Still, there wasn’t much I could do about it. I tried to lead as normal a life as possible. My parents didn’t suspect a thing. I kept my urges under control. Unfortunately, I had a bull’s eye painted on my back and I didn’t even know it. From my discomfort in daylight and my urge to consume flesh and blood, I gathered that I was a vampire. However, I didn’t know which type of vampire until I ran into some. The first vampire I met was this tall, gorgeous black chick named Rhonda who approached me while I was studying at the Boston Public Library. Man, I hadn’t seen a chick this fine in ages. Seriously. She wore an Emerson College letterman jacket and looked absolutely, positively hot. When she came calling, I definitely hollered. She had sensed what I was across a great distance and came to find out what exactly I was. When I asked her what she was, she smiled and. ’ I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.This One Is Compliments of Charm_BHere’s one I found funny:All mushrooms are edible, but some only once.These Are Compliments of John ASome are dated but are still funny...1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.3. How to prepare Tofu:a. Throw it in the trashb. Grill some meat4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.9. Remember.
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